Indifference

This morning, as the frigid air that surrounds our American Studies class crept in through the cracks in the windows (seemingly from the very fibers of the walls that enclosed us), I was reintroduced to the piece "Those Winter Sundays" by Robert Hayden, as well as the interview of Bill Jones over his choice of "Winterreise" as his personal favorite Christmas song.

Throughout the discussion, and even afterwards as I passed the time among dodge balls and friends, I was focused on a single concept that had been slightly touched upon, but for myself it had not been enough.

In the tenth line of Hayden's poem, he describes a way of talking to his father as "indifferent", literally to have no interest or sympathy at all! As in Jones' piece, despite his feeling of extremely intense devotion and love for his father he cannot remember whether or not within their time together he afforded his father any sort of thanks.

Thus the conundrum: how can two people who profess such deep love for the person that sacrificed such a large portion of their life for them feel "indifferent", when the very notion of acknowledging that sacrifice is brought into question?

What is it, in other words, that makes them unable to utter their true feelings?

Of my own belief, I think that it is a sense of duty that has been passed down between generations to keep your feelings to yourself as they alone are part of the definition of vulnerability.

Vulnerability is to be avoided at all costs. Or at least that is what I am getting from the piece, I am interested to see if anyone has any alternative views on this question as this is a very interesting piece of writing we have here.